What's design? I better be an artist, not a designer

This evening I went to found the director of art & design department for discussed about the t-shirt design. Before I went into the office, I told myself must be brave to explain my design to the director and try to persuade her use the original design. Unfortunately I didn't have enough brave to talk to her. When she looked at my original design, she said that's too messy, cannot show what is it for, but the new design can let everyone know who we are. Ok, I didn't know how to talk back to her, I just liked a craven, doing nothing.

Haiz......is this really a competition? Or just a design project bid? My old design let me win the bid to become the T-shirt designer for my department, and now I'm just a designer (more liked a worker), I have to changed and followed what the director said. I couldn't said anything, the lecturers too. The worst was my lecturers couldn't help me, although they agreed the original design better than the new one.

Sad......although I have a little bit angry when I came out from the office, I knew this is just a put-up-job, a foolish game always happened at my department.

That's fine, take it as a lesson and experiment. I saw many designer always complaint their customer changed their design into a rubbish, now I knew what's the feel, totally.

SOMETIMES ...ALL THE TIMES

Sometimes I keep on building high walls around me
Not to keep myself away
But to see who cares enough to break them all
Who cares enough to make them fall

Sometimes I keep on constructing barriers around my heart
Not to keep my heart safe
But to see who cares enough to start

Sometimes I keep myself inside a fence
Not as a defense
But rather to see who really feels me... who has enough sense

Sometimes I keep on creating obstacles for whoever wants me close
Not to play “hard to get”
But rather to know why am I the one he chose?

Sometimes I prefer to be isolated
Not to be lonely …
But rather to see who cares enough to come close and approach me

Sometimes I prefer to be remote
Not because of fear
But rather to see who cares enough to be near

Sometimes I prefer to keep the distance
Not to act arrogant
But rather to see who cares enough to be persistent

Sometimes I do not take any initiative
Not because I’m acting so protective
But to know to whom am I really attractive

Sometimes I intend to be passive
Not to show no interest
But to see who cares enough to be impressive

Sometimes I intend to be mysterious
Not because I want to look serious
But rather to see who cares enough to be curious

Sometimes I intend to be unsocial
Not to be rude
But rather to see to whom am I really special

Sometimes I keep on wearing masks hiding my real self
Not to pretend
But rather to see who will remove them in the end

Sometimes I keep all my secrets covered
To see to whom and how it will be discovered

Sometimes I lock my door
To see who is willing to explore
Who really cares enough to know me more

Sometimes … all the times ….
And until now I haven’t found the kind of care I need
I haven’t found that someone who cares enough to succeed



13 June 2006
unknown poet


p/s: This poem copy from my friend's blog, Diverse texts and stories(Fernanda Ferreira). I very like this poem, this poem wrote out my feeling.